Have you just found out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant? It’s a scary reality to face and has left you asking questions you haven’t thought about before.
We’ve talked with many men like you who were also shocked by their partner’s unplanned pregnancies. We hope this article gives you helpful insight into what you might want to know about your partner’s unexpected pregnancy.
The first thing you want to know is, “Now what?” So let’s answer that question first.
My Partner Is Unexpectedly Pregnant: Now What?
When you hear any shocking news that will affect your life, it leaves you wondering what happens now. The very first steps are to take care of both you and your partner and find accurate information to help in the decision-making process.
Step 1: Care for your partner AND yourself.
There’s no doubt about it — an unplanned pregnancy is one of the most stressful situations for you and your partner to get through. And being a supportive partner while you’re also wrestling with fears about the future isn’t always easy, but you can do it!
When you get good sleep, nutrition, and encouragement, it will help you cope and stay clear-headed while you caringly stand with your partner. Here are a few tips to support your pregnant partner:
- Even though she is the one who’s pregnant, show her you’re in this together by your words and your actions.
- Express concern about how she feels physically and emotionally.
- Go with her to appointments if she wants you to be there with her.
- Learn about her pregnancy options.
- Do not pressure her into a pregnancy decision.
- Support her even if you disagree with her pregnancy decision.
- Don’t “ghost” her or bail on her.
Step 2: Get neutral help for an unexpected pregnancy.
The next step of “Now what?” is to get the answers you need to help you and your partner make the best decision about what to do.
Even though deciding what to do about an unexpected pregnancy ultimately lands with your partner, you also need to learn about her pregnancy options. The best way to do that is to go to a no-cost pregnancy clinic that will not profit financially in any way from her decision. The last thing you or your partner needs right now is pressure from anyone to make one decision over another.
What you do need are unbiased facts that will help your partner make an informed decision that’s best for her. Those facts are gathered through a pregnancy test, an ultrasound, and STD (sexually transmitted disease) testing.
- Pregnancy Test
A medical-grade pregnancy test will confirm that your partner has pregnancy hormones in her system. However, 15%-25% of known pregnancies miscarry, and a positive pregnancy test doesn’t tell you if the pregnancy is viable. A viable pregnancy is one that is progressing normally and expected to survive, and an ultrasound gives you that information.
Pregnancy ultrasounds use sound waves to create images on a screen. It will tell the healthcare provider how far along your partner is and if the pregnancy is viable. This step is crucial if your partner is considering abortion because options will change depending on if the pregnancy appears normal and how many weeks pregnant she is.
- STD Testing
STD testing is critical whether your partner continues her pregnancy or ends it. Most women don’t experience symptoms when they have an STD, and an untreated STD can have serious health consequences for your partner.
What Are the Options for an Unexpected Pregnancy?
The next thing men want to know about their partner’s unexpected pregnancy is what the options are. Once the healthcare provider has determined your partner has a viable pregnancy, she has three pregnancy options:
Abortions can be medical or surgical. Be sure to gather information about abortion side effects and risks, too, so your partner isn’t caught off guard by side effects she’s unprepared for.
Placing your child with an adoptive family is a loving choice if abortion is not an option for you and you aren’t ready to be parents. Adoption is flexible and can be “closed,” “semi-open,” or “open,” depending on what level of contact (if any) you want to have with your child.
People rarely feel ready to be parents, even when pregnancies are planned. But if your partner decides that abortion and adoption are not good options for her, we have resources available to support you both in your parenting journey.
How Soon Do We Have To Decide?
Another thing men want to know about their partner’s unexpected pregnancy is how soon they need to decide. Feeling a sense of urgency is common, but this is a decision that can’t be rushed; too much is at stake physically, emotionally, and spiritually — no matter which decision is made. Options do change when a pregnancy is further along, but if your partner’s medical professional tells her that she has time to decide, encourage her to take it.
What if you and your partner disagree on how to proceed from here? Do you have a say about whether or not your partner continues her pregnancy or ends her pregnancy? With good support, you and your partner can receive the tools you need to have productive conversations despite the stress of an unintended pregnancy. However, in the end, it’s your partner’s decision whether or not she chooses to continue the pregnancy.
Where Do We Get the Answers We Need About My Partner’s Unexpected Pregnancy?
You undoubtedly have many more questions about your partner’s unexpected pregnancy, and now you need to know where to find accurate information? Willowbrook is a medical pregnancy clinic that provides all services at no cost. We offer the pregnancy testing and ultrasounds that give you and your partner the facts you deserve to make a confident decision about an unintended pregnancy.
Our licensed healthcare professionals are skilled and compassionate. You and your partner will never be judged about anything, including your questions or your decisions. Our role is offering support that helps you and your partner make the best decision for you and your future. Contact us today for your confidential appointment.